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  • How Loving My Body Allowed Me to Make a Big Lifestyle Change in 2017

    How Loving My Body Allowed Me to Make a Big Lifestyle Change in 2017

    Before you read my story, here’s a quick disclaimer: My body image is something that will live with me forever. It’s not something that goes away with the loss of a few pounds, a guy being attracted to me, or finally feeling like I’m at a healthier weight. That’s part of why I wanted to share my story – because while people have not been shy to tell me I look great – there’s a whole lot more to it than my outward appearance. Every single day I work to have a stronger self-image, stay positive about myself, and keep my head up through everything – it’s an ongoing process that I plan to work on forever. We all have our off days, we all have our moments, but my goal is to keep everyone honest who’s reading my blog – in hopes that one day we can all say we’re no longer critiquing or comparing ourselves, wishing we had bodies we don’t, or talking about getting work done (don’t even get me started on that). Another reason I’m sharing my story is because I want to convey the message that everyone is on their own journey. While I’m all for/constantly preaching about accepting our bodies, I’m also all for doing things for the good of our health. And the reason I did this actually came from the new found love I have for my body, and wanting to treat it better and become a healthier version of myself. By no means did that ever mean talking down to myself, wishing I was skinnier, or hating my body – which is what past weight losses have looked like for me. It was all about realizing that my body wasn’t the happiest, healthiest, and most energized it could have been – and loving it enough to make some serious changes (again, this is ultimately up to YOU if it’s about your body).

    Well, here goes… my honest story that I hope resonates with you, or helps someone in the process.

    It all started with a check-up at the doctor in May of 2017. Well, it didn’t necessarily “start” then, but rather it started with the first doctor who ever told me I needed to lose weight. So, scratch that and backtrack about 15 years when the first doctor told me I needed to lose weight. Since then, there have been very seldom times that I was told I was at a healthy weight (even if I felt it), and this year’s check-up was no different – post college life had me bigger than ever and not even realizing I‎t.

    I’ve been through the trials and tribulations of being told to lose weight – by either a doctor, friend, or family member in some way or another – which typically followed by me getting pissed about it, maybe dieting and losing some weight, and then finding myself back at square one by either gaining the weight back or just having zero success. In all honesty, it has felt like a never-ending, daunting, and terrible process. That is, until now, when I finally realized I love myself and wanted to do this for the good of MY health – not for anything or anyone else.

    My appointment in May 2017 was with a new doctor that I found through a friend. We did a routine check-up, but of course, the elephant in the room was brought to the forefront – my weight. My doctor very kindly expressed her want for me to try to lose weight – giving me a realistic goal of 7-10 pounds in the next 3 months. I left her office that day sad as usual, but ready to make some changes. Unfortunately those changes, and that willpower I thought I had, weren’t there right away. I returned to the office at the beginning of August thinking I was AT LEAST 5 pounds lighter, but nope, I had lost a pound. One freaking pound.

    This was two weeks before my weight check-in with my primary doctor, and also when I decided to confide in my best friend Lauren – I was fed up and ready to really make changes. Tears were shed on my bus ride home, and opening up to her to ask for help wasn’t easy for me – but I knew it was what I had to (and wanted to) do for the good of my health. For the next week or so, Lauren helped me with my grocery shopping, giving me tips for meals and what to buy versus what to skip out on. I learned a TON, and sent her pictures of my grocery carts, or screenshots of menus at restaurants for the next few weeks. She also recommended that I switch from iced lattes to black coffee – man it was hard, but my taste buds adjusted – and I really think it has made a huge difference.

    The next step was committing to a workout that was going to “kick my ass” (as Lauren described it) at least 2-3 times per week. I was working out, but admittedly not hard enough, and not regularly enough. She suggested Shred415, a treadmill and weights interval training class that I was absolutely terrified of. Lauren took me to my first class (I barely made it through) – and shortly after taking it, the studio manager reached out to me offering a new client deal for an unlimited membership. So I did it – I bought the membership. I committed to going to Shred 3 times a week at the studio near my apartment, and then also going to my office gym and taking ClassPass classes the other days (also giving myself rest days). From August 2017 to now, I’ve fallen in love with Shred and continue to go to 3 times a week, and am feeling stronger and better than I have in a longggg time. To think that I’m running/sprinting every single week on a treadmill is crazy if you would have asked me 6 months ago, but here I am! (If you’re interested in trying it – seriously reach out to me!)

    Full force on my new lifestyle (because no, this is not a diet), I went back in two weeks later to have my official appointment with my doctor – and in two weeks I had lost 12 pounds. I think she thought the scale was broken, ha. But I was proud to say that it was all a result of hard work and dedication, and assured her of all the healthy changes I had made that were adding up quickly. My doctor was extremely proud – and we set another goal together and made a follow-up appointment for three months from that date. Continuing my healthy eating and exercise, I was up to about 34 pounds lost by our November check-in about 3 months later, and my blood work showed major signs of improvement in my “bad” cholesterol levels. My doctor was again extremely proud, as was I. I left that appointment absolutely beaming – I felt electric. Fast forward to now, I’ve lost 45 pounds and am slowly working towards another goal for my next appointment (but feeling damn good).

    I’m not going to act like this whole thing has been easy – it hasn’t. It’s taken a lot of determination, willpower, and work in the gym that I truly never thought I could accomplish. It also took a lot to finally admit to myself that I needed to lose a significant amount of weight. But instead of looking at it that way, I decided to look at it in small chunks – like 5-10 pounds at a time over a period of time – so that I don’t get overwhelmed. It makes it a whole lot easier on my mental state – and it makes it that much more exciting when I’m exceeding goals week in and week out. Another thing I’ve practiced consistently is positive self-talk – from the day I decided this whole thing was going down, I told myself “I can – and I will – do this.”

    But I’m not going to lie when I say there are days when I look in the mirror and have moments of hesitations, bloated days, or days when I’m scared I’m going to gain again. It’s normal, and that’s because this is an ongoing process, mentally and physically. It’s an ongoing process to keep a positive mindset about our bodies, and something we all need to continue to practice day in and day out.

    When these negative thoughts do come, I’ve trained myself to shift them to the side and override them with positive, forward-looking thoughts. Sometimes I almost feel like, “is it enough?” or “I want more” – and my greedy side takes over. When that happens, the most important thing I’ve learned to do is live in the moment. I do that by reminding myself how far I’ve come, reminding myself how amazing I feel, and being present in the moment – not thinking about what I could be doing or wishing I was at any other stage than I am in this moment (check out my recent blog about positive self-talk for other tips of this nature).

    While the exterior changes have been amazing, the reality is – it’s not about what’s on the outside. It’s really all about my health and readjusting my lifestyle to focus on the inside – my mind, what I’m putting into my body, pushing my physical and mental limits in the gym – which have all helped to shape a much happier, healthier, and more energized me. And while yes, I may look “better” on the right side of this photo, I am by no means tearing down my same beautiful self on the left, but am grateful I took the plunge.

    Again, thank you to those who have supported me, given me positive words of encouragement, and ultimately helped me along this whole process. I seriously couldn’t have done it (or be doing it) without you all, and am excited to continue to share my journey. Cheers to continued self-love in 2018!

    If you have questions, comments, or just want to have a chat for that matter – I would love to talk to you! Email me at thecurveconfessions@gmail.com or message me on Instagram (@thecurveconfessions).

    To see the best treadmills for you and your workout, check out this article on Reviews.com!

  • How to Bring More Positive Self-Talk into your Life in 2018

    How to Bring More Positive Self-Talk into your Life in 2018

    Think to yourself about the last time you said or thought something negative about yourself. While I’m hoping you can’t think of a recent example, you very well might have done this today, when you looked in the mirror and said, “Ew, my hair looks terrible today.” We’re all guilty of being overcritical at times, and that has a lot to do with our society’s views of perfection, social media, and other factors that all work to shape various insecurities in people.

    It’s complicated, but the more aware we are of this negativity and how it affects our overall mental health, the better we can work to stop it (with both ourselves and others).

    When initially starting to change what I thought and said aloud about my body, I soon realized positive self-talk goes much deeper than just appearance. Saying anything negative about yourself can really affect your overall confidence and self-esteem. So, when I say something that’s not necessarily about my body but still negative, like “I’m such an idiot,” it still negatively affects how I feel about myself in some way – especially when repeated. Instead, I’m trying to shift my mindset to, “I messed up this time, but I’ll get it next time” – or something like that.

    Positive self-talk is something that I find so important in truly treating your mind, body, and soul right. Because if you’re not being nice to yourself, who the hell is going to be? Okay, probably multiple people. But still, the love you show yourself is so important.

    So today and for the rest of the year, I want you to become more aware of the positivity you’re giving off – as well as those close to you – and work to move your mindset from negative to positive. Here are some quick ways to start doing this now:

    1. When you wake up, say something nice to yourself. One of the first things you do in the morning might be heading to the bathroom to brush your teeth, where you’ll likely come across yourself in the mirror. How about starting your day off with a nice compliment? “You are beautiful” or “Today’s going to be a great day, you badass” are two ideas to start with, but really it can be anything positive.
    2. Write down everything you say that’s negative, and then turn it into a positive. Next time you say or think something negative, document it. Then, turn it into something positive that changes your mindset and document that. If you catch yourself saying or thinking it again, correct yourself to say the positive thing instead. Repeat, repeat, repeat – our minds are powerful tools.
    3. Think about if you would say those things to a friend. I wrote a post about a video of best friends saying negative things they’ve thought to themselves about their bodies, but aloud to each other, and it was heartbreaking. Next time you’re going hard on yourself (whether it’s aloud or in your thoughts), think about if you would say it to your best friend. Maybe that will knock some sense into you!
    4. When you hear a friend say something bad about themselves, stop them. My friends know that if they make a comment about how they look or say something negative, I’m going to call them out, in hopes they think twice about saying it or eventually stop. You can always try to combat it with something positive, like a compliment that completely disputes their negativity.

    We’ve all got work to do here, but the more actively we’re thinking about ways to cut out negative self-talk, the more positive our lives will be in the end. So, how are you going to change your mindset in 2018?

  • The Curve Confessionals: Kitty

    The Curve Confessionals: Kitty

    About the interview: Kitty and I have been friends forever, and over the years, she’s learned a lot when it comes to caring for her body. In our interview, she talks honestly about her journey to finding a healthy balance in life, including food, fitness, and mental health. Read on for my interview with Kitty to learn more about her journey!

    CC: What’s YOUR body image story?

    K: I feel like having a positive body image is almost completely dependent on where one is mentally. When one is trying to deal with overwhelming stress or anxiety your body gets thrown to the wayside because you just don’t have the energy to care.

    It took me about 23 years to finally begin to care about both my body and my mind. Growing up as a shy and timid Catholic school girl, I was constantly comparing myself to others and wishing I could change so many things about the way I looked, as many adolescent girls do. I would have periods of working out multiple times a day and thinking eating one “big” meal was sufficient. Then once I started to get mentally and physically burnt out, I would eat everything I was depriving myself of before. These irrational thoughts and also lack of knowledge continued into college, which brought along with it the stress and anxiety of trying to make something of yourself while also trying to maintain a social life. For some, this was easy, and it was truly “the best four years of their life.” For me, I felt like I was slowly losing control. I wasn’t taking proper care of either my mind or my body and then I would feel bad about myself, and it would turn into a viscous cycle. The sad thing is, I know if I had eaten healthier or exercised regularly I would have been so much happier.

    Towards my senior year, I began realizing what it meant to work out and feel strong rather than to feel skinny. I began to view food as fuel rather than as calories. I started doing yoga to calm my racing thoughts by focusing on breathing or nailing a pose. I can truly say that starting to live a healthy lifestyle changed my life. Endorphins are a real thing. Exercising (in moderation) has sooo many benefits for not only your physical health, but overall mental well-being. It helps with mood, relieving anxiety, and will give you a sense of accomplishment and appreciation for your body that you might never have felt before. You actually CAN run farther than you thought or you actually ARE able to hold a difficult yoga posture, things you maybe once thought were impossible. Appreciating your body and what it can do will cause you to want to take care of it and I believe a healthy cycle will result.

    CC: If you haven’t always loved your body, how have you worked to get there?

    K: I exercise not only for the endorphins, but also for the satisfaction and appreciation it brings along with it. Honestly, the older I get, the more important my health has become. You’re only given one body so you might as well take care of it.

    CC: What’s one thing you’d say to your younger, middle school aged self if you could go back? Or to younger girls today?

    K: Be accepting of who you are, but strive for good health. As cliché as it sounds, get active! Not only is exercise chemically and biologically good for your brain, but it can also help form friendships and character, which are so important at that age. I’ve met some of my best friends through playing soccer. Even though it might not have been my favorite sport, it got me to be active and social rather than obsessing over stupid middle school stuff.

    CC: What has been your biggest body image victory?

    K: Learning that everything in moderation is okay. It’s been the hardest thing for me to learn to enjoy indulging and not feel bad about it. But if you deprive your body of things you love, how are you supposed to live a happy life?

    This interview is a part of The Curve Confessionals, a new content series on the Curve Confessions featuring other’s body image stories. Want to be interviewed, or know someone who might? Email thecurveconfessions@gmail.com for more details. 

  • The Curve Confessionals: Chloe

    The Curve Confessionals: Chloe

    About the interview: Chloe and I have been friends for a long time, and she has always had a great figure. But as I always preach, everyone has their own body image struggles, and Chloe at times has felt that people don’t understand hers. I think it’s so important to acknowledge that we all have our own bodies, goals, etc., and no one should be discounted for their thoughts just because they’re considered thin. Chloe also shares ways she’s learned to love her body, like eating healthy and working out with a trainer, but I can appreciate that she also likes to treat herself! Read on for my interview with Chloe, who has a thing or two to teach us about loving ourselves.
    CC: Why is body image/self love/self acceptance important to you?

    C: Having grown up with a mom who had had a serious eating disorder before I was born it was always important for her to teach me to love my body. I grew up hearing stories about her struggles and she really wanted me to know the importance loving yourself.

    CC: What has been your biggest body image struggle?

    C: This is going to sound dumb so bear with me, I gain weight mostly in my boobs, butt, and stomach. OH MY GAWD POOR ME I know. But for me I can be feeling really shitty about myself and how I am looking and people write it off as a joke or act like I am offending them by saying I am not happy with my body. But that’s the thing, everyBODY is different and we all have our own versions of our own best body.

    CC: If you haven’t always loved your body, how are you working to get there? 

    C: For me I think I have definitely getting been more comfortable in my skin as I grow up. In middle school I just wanted to look like all my friends, in high school I cared about what the boys liked in girls, in college I was living off the Watterson Towers pasta bar and late night D.P. Dough and my weight was incredibly up and down. But now that I have graduated and recently turned 25 I find myself taking an initiative to care for my body and love and accept myself how I am.

    CC: Does the media/models/celebrities have an impact on how you see yourself? Any examples? 

    C: I would be lying if I didn’t say looking in a magazine I look at Gigi Hadid or Jen Aniston and think damn I want to look like that. But someone said something to me recently that really stayed with me, “that is literally their JOB to look like that.” It’s so true they get paid to eat the best food, get the best trainers, and spend every day in the gym. Comparing yourself to these people is so apples and oranges.

    CC: Do you compare yourself to other girls a lot/feel pressure to look a certain way at times? Why do you think you do?

    C: I definitely feel pressure at times to look a specific way. Let’s be real I recently joined a gym got a trainer and changed my whole diet because I was going to Coachella and going to be surrounded by hundreds of flat tummys and toned arms. But it all comes down to this, did it motivate me to change my lifestyle for the better? Yes definitely! But it is so important to use each other as motivation and not as a reason to starve yourself or kill yourself at the gym.

    CC: What’s one thing you’d say to your younger, middle school aged self if you could go back? Or to younger girls today? 

    C: I think it is so so so important to love your body and not compare it to others. I definitely wish I could go back to middle school Chloe and tell her don’t worry you will get boobs one day, and it won’t be nearly as exciting as you think it will be.

    CC: What do you do to love your body? 

    C: I try to eat healthy during the work week, packing my lunches has been such a great way to improve what I am eating (and spending). I workout with my trainer and love doing classes to switch things up like yoga, barre or boxing (can i get a hell yeah). But I also think it is sooo important to give yourself a break and treat yourself, when I am craving Portillos I’m gonna get a beef, cheese fries, and large coke. If I feel like having a bum day and skipping the gym I’ll let myself without feeling guilty. That’s how I love my body!

    This interview is a part of The Curve Confessionals, a new content series on the Curve Confessions featuring other’s body image stories. Want to be interviewed, or know someone who might? Email thecurveconfessions@gmail.com for more details.

  • The Curve Confessions: A Year in Reflection

    The Curve Confessions: A Year in Reflection

    It’s crazy to think one year ago exactly, after months of preparation (and some nerves), I launched The Curve Confessions – with no idea of what to expect. And now here we are, a year later, and my wildest dreams about the blog have been completely blown out of the water. So I couldn’t help but to capture this past year’s memories, take some cheesy photos, and talk about what’s to come.

    Looking back, I’ve had some major wins that I can’t help but freak out about, like a few of my Instagram posts being recognized by supermodel Denise Bidot (we’re besties now), Ashley Graham liking a comment I left on her Instagram (still trying to get her to become a fan of the CC), and not to mention the countless inspiring and meaningful conversations with friends, family, and those I don’t even know, about the impact my blog is having on them. I probably didn’t do everything that happened this year justice, but let’s just call that the highlight reel – holy smokes.

    But behind all the 32 blog posts, thousands of page views, my (small) band of blog and social media followers, and the countless hours of (fun) work I’ve put into this – what means the most is the overwhelming support I’ve felt. I went out on a limb with this concept, revealed personal stories and hard times, and showed you all my true self through my writing. And to feel like that’s being recognized, even if it’s my small band of followers, is exceeding all expectations I could have ever had.

    When I created the blog, a friend asked me, “What’s one thing you want out of this?” I responded, “Honestly, if it makes a difference in one person’s life and helps them in some way, that’s all I really want.” Fortunately I can come out of this year confident that I’ve achieved this – and that alone keeps me motivated as ever to continue (other than the fact that I friggin love it).

    But the confidence this blog has given me extends even further than that. This past year, I feel like I’ve grown even more in-tune with myself, my body, and find my confidence continually growing. I don’t think I realized how much I’d feel a part of the body image movement when I started this blog – and though I’m no Ashley Graham, I feel like my words have power. And because of that, I’m taking every opportunity I can to promote my message of self love, body positivity, and empowerment. I also now feel like I really embody what I’m saying in my blog – and it’s an exciting feeling to be behind something I feel so strongly about (and have struggled with very personally).

    I’m going to end this sappy post with my goals and thoughts for this next year of The Curve Confessions:

    1. Get Ashley Graham to follow me/like my s*** (don’t mind me, I’ll just be continuing to stalk her this year)

    2. More fashion, please! I’ve been loving the photoshoots I’ve done, and want to show you more of my style. This year, I’m planning to do just that.

    3. Also want to show more of the daily life – what I’m eating, workouts, etc. – a friend suggested this to me and I think it’s a great idea. Though I’m not celeb status (clearly), the blog’s all about a healthy and happy life, so might as well let you all into mine more!

    4. But as much as I know you all love me, I am definitely going to keep it going with The Curve Confessionals! I love hearing other people’s stories and can’t wait to continue interviewing people this year.

    5. YouTube channel or podcasting, anyone? I’ve been noodling on these ideas for a while, and this year might just be the year.

    That’s what I’ve got for now – all of my other ideas will typically come at late hours of the night – and I’ll be sure to write them down in my notebook per usual. 🙂

    Thanks to all of my supporters, near and far, for making this one of the most incredible years of my life. The Curve Confessions has absolutely changed my life for the better, and I can’t wait to keep it going! So much love for all of you. Xoxo