Category: Uncategorized

  • The Downfalls of Social Media – and a Lesson Simone Biles Can Teach Us

    The Downfalls of Social Media – and a Lesson Simone Biles Can Teach Us

    When I was young, bullying mainly happened in person, or maybe over a computer on instant messaging. But today, it can happen a lot more places than that – like on social media. I just came across an article about Simone Biles, 19 year old olympic gymnast, who was recently body shamed on Twitter. Let’s not forget that Simone is NINETEEN. It sickens me that anyone has the audacity to make a comment about her body; but also sadly doesn’t surprise me. Thankfully, Simone was so mature with her response to these trolls, and tweeted:

    simone-b

    You all might have seen my post on Aly Raisman, too, and it’s the same type of thing. People judging people – and I’m sick of it. Aly and Simone’s stories are examples that are open to the public, ones that we all have access to; but think about the kid in the lunch room, or the girl on the high school basketball team that no one hears about. These people are being affected too – just silently.

    Simone is a nineteen year old celebrity who has to deal with this scrutiny in the public eye; which has got to be so hard. She’s so brave to put a tweet out like that, but do you think this won’t affect her? People’s comments about her body may stay with her longer than you think. I hope they don’t, but why do we live in a world where some want to put people down? Why does Simone Biles have to feel remorse over her body, or defend it for that matter, just because someone has a problem with it? Why does anyone have a problem with it in the first place? I have so many questions.

    Social media is a part of our every day lives, and we’re all pretty aware of it at this point. Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram – these are all some of the ways we stay in touch with our friends, the world, and what we’re interested in following. But sometimes it becomes too much, and we have to be reminded of the dangerous effects; like studies linking social media usage to poor body image and self esteem, or people being body shamed like Simone. The young kids really worry me most, because they’re at such an impressionable age, and in my opinion seeing way too much.

    Most of us might not be under this spotlight, and are hopefully not getting these types of comments or push back from our audiences, which is good. Thankfully, we’re also likely not the mean people making these comments. But this is a lesson to take a good hard look at your words and how they affect people. We need to stop judging people, and stop hiding behind computer screens and phones.

    We need to go out into the world and get some joy, some fulfillment, heck, give someone a compliment. We all as humans need to support each other, not tear each other down. Social media can be a positive thing; a connection, a way to keep in touch – but the more we’re using it like this, the more it makes me want to stay far away.

    Something that we’ve all experienced with social media is pressure; pressure over the amount of “likes” or positive feedback you’re getting on posts, or comparing yourself to the fitness models you’re seeing on your feeds. We all want to feel accepted for what we post, and we’re all going to run into things we’re slightly jealous of. And on the comparison front, Steve Furtick says it best, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” So, focusing on social media as a way to feel valued, or as a means of comparison, is not going to get us anywhere.

    In this age of social media, we really need to focus on getting positive reinforcements, having positive moments, etc. out in the world. I don’t know about you all, but getting a genuine hug from someone I haven’t seen in a while, having a drink and a great chat with a friend, giving someone a real time compliment, is SO much more important than getting a bunch of likes on a photo. And like I always say, wishing you were someone else or comparing yourself to others is going to get you nowhere. Being you is enough. We need to remind ourselves of these things in a time where social media seems and feels so important.

    I digress. For real though, Simone Biles’ situation is something we all need to be mindful of. Everything we say to someone (especially publicly) can never be taken back, and can have more negative impact than you may know. And spending too much time on social media, comparing yourself, or measuring your success by the amount of praise (or lack thereof) you’re getting is just not a good way to live.

    So, make an effort in 2017 to stop obsessing over what you’re going to post – how many likes you’re getting – whatever it is (I will be doing it too). Enjoy the company around you, enjoy the little things, and be kind to others.

    And like Simone Biles’ tweet, stay true to yourself. Do YOU – that’s all that matters. Stand up to the bullies, be proud of yourself and your body, and do what you want to do for yourself. Which brings me to one of my favorite quotes: “Be you. Do you. For you.” Don’t do it for anyone else, y’all. ❤

     

     

     

  • Coffee Break: Shamed If I do, Shamed If I don’t 

    Coffee Break: Shamed If I do, Shamed If I don’t 

    “To some I’m too curvy. To others I’m too tall, too busty, too loud, and, now, too small — too much, but at the same time not enough. When I post a photo from a ‘good angle,’ I receive criticism for looking smaller and selling out. When I post photos showing my cellulite, stretch marks, and rolls, I’m accused of promoting obesity. The cycle of body-shaming needs to end …What type of example are we setting for young girls and their self-esteem if grown adults are on Instagram calling other women ‘cowards’ for losing weight, or ‘ugly’ for being overweight? … I refuse to let others dictate how I live my life and what my body should look like for their own comfort. And neither should you … My body is MY body. I’ll call the shots.” — Ashley Graham, August 2016

    To those who don’t know her – Ashley Graham is the first ever plus size model to be featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated magazine (I’ll get to that story later). She’s also a body activist and model making a huge difference in the body image movement. But for now, I want everyone to read the above statement from her – and really soak it in. I’ve witnessed people being criticized for being too big, too small, whatever it is, and it’s time to let people be who they are. It’s also time to accept ourselves for who we are – and screw the haters.

    Most of us aren’t the internet trolls largely responsible for criticizing her, and may not even be criticized like this ourselves on a daily basis, but let’s take this down as a life lesson. What I want you all to take away from her rant is this: “I refuse to let others dictate how I live my life and what my body should look like for their own comfort. And neither should you… My body is MY body. I’ll call the shots.”

    Photo credit: Ashley Graham 

  • Miss Teen USA Cutting Swimsuit Competition

    Miss Teen USA Cutting Swimsuit Competition

    It was recently reported that the 51 women who will compete in future Miss Teen USA pageants will no longer do a swimsuit competition – this portion of the competition would be replaced by a brand new athletic wear competition.

    Well, thank goodness. Because I’m sorry, but what 14 to 19 year old needs a bunch of judges (and Americans watching TV) judging their bodies in swimsuits? They’ve barely even grown into themselves! I understand these women are physically fit, but there’s no reason in hell that they should be baring it all for judges and viewers. They’re as young as FOURTEEN, people.

    Athletic gear is a much more normal, realistic way of displaying their healthy physiques (and not to mention, much less revealing for girls 19 and under). And apparently, Julianne Hough, host and creative producer for this year’s Miss USA (where contestants range from ages 18 to 28), has considered removing swimsuits from these competitions altogether. Even though that’s years in the making and I’d most definitely applaud it, I’m happy that it’s at least happening with the Teen USA pageant for now.

    I get that that the swimsuit competition is a pertinent component of these things (eh, I guess I get it), but in what universe is parading around in glorified underwear normal? Oh wait, in our world it is. Cue the Victoria’s Secret fashion show with almost-naked women parading around in freaking angel wings. Sigh.

    Miss USA, Miss Universe, and all of these different pageants do a lot of great things for women: Candidates often say they feel empowered and encouraged to follow their dreams and the competitions often support great causes.

    But, in the same token, I disagree that women should be baring it all for the stage. There’s no need to imply to viewers that six-pack abs and perfectly toned thighs are what’s necessary to be beautiful. Those characteristics are not reality for a majority of the world’s women. Let’s not forget that the average American woman is 5‘4” and 166 pounds. So no, this is not reality to most.

    I’ve known super respectable and amazing women who have participated in pageants, and ladies, I am not putting you down. What I’m doing is giving all the viewers out there a reality check that it’s okay if you don’t look like this. And teens, please hold onto your innocence for as long as you can, and avoid skimpy swimsuits for a while (no, your dads didn’t pay me to write that).

    To those watching these competitions and runway-type shows, let’s take the pressure off ourselves. And ladies who competed in this year’s Teen USA pageant – remember that athletic wear is a perfectly fine way to present your strong, amazing self. As former Miss Virginia said, “This is focusing on what bodies can do, not just what they look like.”

    Preach sister, preach. That is a wrap. Congratulations to Miss Teen USA for this positive change in the body image movement. There’s still work to do, but it’s a start.

    Photo credit: Josue Goge