Tag: The Curve Confessions

  • Keeping My Mind Right Through Weight Loss/Gain, Dating, And Everything In Between

    Keeping My Mind Right Through Weight Loss/Gain, Dating, And Everything In Between

    It’s always driven me nuts that the first thing most people judge you on in this world is your looks and appearance.

    “You look like you’ve lost weight!” Or rather, *stark silence after an up down full body stare is done on your body by a relative and you’re already feeling a little bloated.*

    It’s exhausting, right? To constantly feel like we have to keep up with a certain appearance, impress our families and peers, men, and live up to whatever the expectation is that day- whether it’s in our heads or someone else’s.

    I am someone who has gained, lost, gained back, lost more, etc. my entire life. But how it affects my mood or my thoughts is actually a day to day thing I have to think about and manage. If I’m feeling bloated one day, is my entire day ruined? If someone doesn’t say I look good after giving my body a nice scan, am I annoyed? If someone tells me I look great, does my mood skyrocket?

    If you’re not shaking your heads “yes” to any of the above, ignore me. I have had body image issues my whole life so maybe I’m just an extreme example. But I was hoping that opening up about this would resonate with *someone* out there.

    And that fact is we don’t need to rely on our bodies and our looks for our self worth, and if we catch ourselves doing it, we need to stop and remember the qualities about ourselves that have absolutely nothing to do with our weight or looks. Remember how you worked so hard for something and achieved it? Or when you did a really nice thing for someone because you’re a great person? Just a few examples, but these are things we need to be leaning on when those negative body image thoughts creep into our heads.

    I am actually writing a book as we speak (which some of you may know), and I’m so excited to share some of the experiences/realizations I’ve come to through my novel. Like, so excited. But for now, I’ll share one recent story from a date I went on that put things into perspective for me a bit (and slightly inspired this post to finally be written).

    I went on my first date in New York last week and it was super fun. Without getting into details, I could tell this guy was super into me and I was excited. I was into him too, the chemistry was there, and we just hit it off. Throughout the night he was frequently complimenting my looks. He told me I was “more beautiful in person” and called me “sexy” a few times and let me tell you, I was eating it up. But when the next step (aka setting a new date up) didn’t exactly go as I planned, I backtracked and started to think negatively. I thought, “Did I do something wrong?” And it occurred to me that he didn’t even really know me. Like at all haha. While it was upsetting to not get what I wanted out of it, it made me learn so much (even though it’s one date, I know). I was so excited about the possibilities of this guy, but in reality, he doesn’t even know the real me. I was totally leaning on the fact that he was attracted to me and hanging on to those thoughts, even though as I mentioned earlier in this post, I should be leaning on the other things about me (that he doesn’t even really know yet). I checked myself, and I learned.

    And it inspired this post because, after a quick time spent in the dumps I remembered, I am a catch and this is not going to make me think otherwise. And another thing it made me realize, hence this post, is to stop relying so much on how people think we look or appear. I am so much more than that, and so are you.

    XOXO

  • The Curve Confessionals: Jenna

    The Curve Confessionals: Jenna

    About the interview: Jenna and I first met as youngsters in middle school, and have grown closer and closer over the years. She’s about as cute as a button, and in our interview honestly shares her own triumphs with being petite and finding confidence. She’s a superb role model to her younger siblings, and shares some incredible thoughts on my questions during our interview. Read on for some major feels and inspo!

    CC: What’s YOUR body image story?

    J: Hmmm… Well I fall into the “petite” category, I was always the smallest in the class, the tiniest baby, still don’t understand what a “percentile” is… you get the point. Growing up I was super sensitive of how short and small I was. I will never forget the day I came home crying in first grade: we learned a fact that the size of your heartis the size of your fist typically. Some kid in class turned to me and said, “Wow yours is pretty small then!” He likely didn’t mean it as an insult. My short-already sensitive about my size- seven-year-old self- took that as he told me “I was a mean person with a small heart.” I was often the butt of a lot of jokes, although most were playful, but I always wanted to be taller. Especially when the sport I chose to stick with was…basketball. Needless to say my basketball career never made it past 7th grade. I am not sure when I finally began to accept my height… Maybe it was the fact that I have been 5’1 since the 7th grade? But I know now it’s nothing I can change. I spend money getting things hemmed and scan shops for petite sections, but being little is what makes me, me.

    CC: Why is body image/self love/self acceptance important to you?

    J: It is important to me for many reasons, one big one is I have a sister who is about to enter high school. When we were growing up, we obviously had the media and some Internet, but with Instagram it creates a whole new realm of fake. Photoshop is real, normal people use it for their pictures to alter their body, not even just celebrities. It creates this completely altered reality that people (like my sister) likely believe to be true.

    CC: What has been your biggest body image struggle (or one you’ve witnessed)?

    J: Finding health and wellness in college- I gained a lot of weight when I went to college, and for me having such a small frame, the weight really showed. I didn’t know at the time that I had gotten bigger and my clothes weren’t fitting–I was pretty much enjoying college and super happy at the time. I don’t regret it for a second because I was having fun, and it taught me the importance of truly taking care of myself on so many levels. I learned I could no longer rely on my metabolism—especially when on an all bagel/pizza/ramen diet.

    CC: What has been your biggest body image victory (or one you’ve witnessed)?

    J: Cleaning my act up in college, being active and finding work outs I enjoy doing—not to lose weight, but because I genuinely enjoy doing them.

    CC: Have you always loved your body? How do you keep that confidence?

    J: To be honest I don’t think I have ever “loved” my body. I have never disliked it, but I want to be at a point where I love my body because I worked for it.

    CC: If you haven’t, how have you worked to get there?

    J: I am my happiest self when I am working out and eating healthy. I am not someone that works out 7, or even 5 days a week—I don’t think I’ll ever be, at least not in the near future. I love cooking in general, especially healthy meals, and how I feel afterwards makes me genuinely so happy. I strive to do both more and more—in my photo here I had worked out and cooked healthy meals for a while leading up to that family vacation. I felt so ready for my bikini pictures, and loved how confident my sister was, too.

    CC: Do you compare yourself to other girls a lot/feel pressure to look a certain way at times? Why do you think you do?

    J: I don’t think I feel pressure to look a certain way now, but I’ll certainly look at things girls wear on instagram like friends or bloggers I follow, and find myself wishing I could wear something like they’re wearing. I simply wouldn’t wear what they were because I know I would not look “as good as” them.

    CC: What’s one thing you’d say to your younger, middle school aged self if you could go back? Or to younger girls today?

    J: Be confident- I am working on my confidence every day. If it would have started a younger age… I can’t help but to think how much more confident I would be now. Don’t be afraid to wear clothes different than your friends, play sports different than your friends, etc. Do YOU. Also, not everyone has a thigh gap, it’s simply just how people were made. Oh, and one more thing. Weight is a number-it’s about how your clothes fit, and most importantly how you feel. Don’t ever compare your weight to somebody else’s. It’s a waste of time–you and someone else’s body frame are incomparable!

  • The Curve Confessionals: Paige

    The Curve Confessionals: Paige

    About the interview: Paige and I have been friends for a long time, and she’s always had a killer gymnast body. But she’s had her insecurities along the way like us all, and in our conversation we talked a lot about the pressures from guys and other girls, having an athletic build and rocking it, and how she makes herself feel good and confident. I love seeing her growth in self love and can’t wait to watch it continue!

    CC: What’s your body image story?

    P: When I was 12 or 13 – I can remember it even now – I was trying on swimsuits with other petite girls and was self-conscious about my stomach. I’ve got a lot of muscle and have a gymnast body – and being surrounded by those girls of course made me think about it and question myself. Guys also used to ask why I was sticking out my boobs – but it was really just my posture from being a gymnast. I think every girl looks at themselves in the mirror and picks themselves apart at times, but I feel like I’ve grown a lot from my young self. I’m still very athletically built and I really embrace that. I’d rather wear athletic clothes – like yoga pants and a top than jeans and a cute top – I’m just an active person and I’m proud of that.

    CC: If you haven’t always loved your body, how have you worked to get there?

    P: It’s something that’s never completed, especially in your 20’s – which is when you’re discovering yourself and identifying who you are. It’s a work in progress.

    CC: What has been your biggest body image victory?

    P: It was March of my senior year of college, and graduation was coming up. I was looking at graduation dresses. I wanted to look good in my dress and worked hard to get there; and got down to my goal weight. I got the dress and had never felt better about myself. I felt energized, working towards everything felt good, and I miss that.

    CC: Does the media/models/celebrities have an impact on how you see yourself? 

    P: Absolutely. Who doesn’t want to look like Kate Hudson? Now that I’m 25 though, I have a better understanding that it’s not all real (I.e., photoshopped, etc.). It really doesn’t affect me as much as when I was younger.

    CC: What’s one thing you’d say to your younger, middle school aged self?

    P: Trust your instinct, and love yourself.

    CC: What do you do to love your body?

    P: I get ready in my bra and underwear – it makes me feel sexy! I also look in the mirror and say positive things to myself, workout, and take care of myself by washing my face, taking my vitamins, and trying to go to bed early.

    This interview is a part of The Curve Confessionals, a new content series on the Curve Confessions featuring other’s body image stories. Want to be interviewed, or know someone who might? Email thecurveconfessions@gmail.com for more details. 

  • The Downfalls of Social Media – and a Lesson Simone Biles Can Teach Us

    The Downfalls of Social Media – and a Lesson Simone Biles Can Teach Us

    When I was young, bullying mainly happened in person, or maybe over a computer on instant messaging. But today, it can happen a lot more places than that – like on social media. I just came across an article about Simone Biles, 19 year old olympic gymnast, who was recently body shamed on Twitter. Let’s not forget that Simone is NINETEEN. It sickens me that anyone has the audacity to make a comment about her body; but also sadly doesn’t surprise me. Thankfully, Simone was so mature with her response to these trolls, and tweeted:

    simone-b

    You all might have seen my post on Aly Raisman, too, and it’s the same type of thing. People judging people – and I’m sick of it. Aly and Simone’s stories are examples that are open to the public, ones that we all have access to; but think about the kid in the lunch room, or the girl on the high school basketball team that no one hears about. These people are being affected too – just silently.

    Simone is a nineteen year old celebrity who has to deal with this scrutiny in the public eye; which has got to be so hard. She’s so brave to put a tweet out like that, but do you think this won’t affect her? People’s comments about her body may stay with her longer than you think. I hope they don’t, but why do we live in a world where some want to put people down? Why does Simone Biles have to feel remorse over her body, or defend it for that matter, just because someone has a problem with it? Why does anyone have a problem with it in the first place? I have so many questions.

    Social media is a part of our every day lives, and we’re all pretty aware of it at this point. Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram – these are all some of the ways we stay in touch with our friends, the world, and what we’re interested in following. But sometimes it becomes too much, and we have to be reminded of the dangerous effects; like studies linking social media usage to poor body image and self esteem, or people being body shamed like Simone. The young kids really worry me most, because they’re at such an impressionable age, and in my opinion seeing way too much.

    Most of us might not be under this spotlight, and are hopefully not getting these types of comments or push back from our audiences, which is good. Thankfully, we’re also likely not the mean people making these comments. But this is a lesson to take a good hard look at your words and how they affect people. We need to stop judging people, and stop hiding behind computer screens and phones.

    We need to go out into the world and get some joy, some fulfillment, heck, give someone a compliment. We all as humans need to support each other, not tear each other down. Social media can be a positive thing; a connection, a way to keep in touch – but the more we’re using it like this, the more it makes me want to stay far away.

    Something that we’ve all experienced with social media is pressure; pressure over the amount of “likes” or positive feedback you’re getting on posts, or comparing yourself to the fitness models you’re seeing on your feeds. We all want to feel accepted for what we post, and we’re all going to run into things we’re slightly jealous of. And on the comparison front, Steve Furtick says it best, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” So, focusing on social media as a way to feel valued, or as a means of comparison, is not going to get us anywhere.

    In this age of social media, we really need to focus on getting positive reinforcements, having positive moments, etc. out in the world. I don’t know about you all, but getting a genuine hug from someone I haven’t seen in a while, having a drink and a great chat with a friend, giving someone a real time compliment, is SO much more important than getting a bunch of likes on a photo. And like I always say, wishing you were someone else or comparing yourself to others is going to get you nowhere. Being you is enough. We need to remind ourselves of these things in a time where social media seems and feels so important.

    I digress. For real though, Simone Biles’ situation is something we all need to be mindful of. Everything we say to someone (especially publicly) can never be taken back, and can have more negative impact than you may know. And spending too much time on social media, comparing yourself, or measuring your success by the amount of praise (or lack thereof) you’re getting is just not a good way to live.

    So, make an effort in 2017 to stop obsessing over what you’re going to post – how many likes you’re getting – whatever it is (I will be doing it too). Enjoy the company around you, enjoy the little things, and be kind to others.

    And like Simone Biles’ tweet, stay true to yourself. Do YOU – that’s all that matters. Stand up to the bullies, be proud of yourself and your body, and do what you want to do for yourself. Which brings me to one of my favorite quotes: “Be you. Do you. For you.” Don’t do it for anyone else, y’all. ❤