Tag: mental health

  • Keeping My Mind Right Through Weight Loss/Gain, Dating, And Everything In Between

    Keeping My Mind Right Through Weight Loss/Gain, Dating, And Everything In Between

    It’s always driven me nuts that the first thing most people judge you on in this world is your looks and appearance.

    “You look like you’ve lost weight!” Or rather, *stark silence after an up down full body stare is done on your body by a relative and you’re already feeling a little bloated.*

    It’s exhausting, right? To constantly feel like we have to keep up with a certain appearance, impress our families and peers, men, and live up to whatever the expectation is that day- whether it’s in our heads or someone else’s.

    I am someone who has gained, lost, gained back, lost more, etc. my entire life. But how it affects my mood or my thoughts is actually a day to day thing I have to think about and manage. If I’m feeling bloated one day, is my entire day ruined? If someone doesn’t say I look good after giving my body a nice scan, am I annoyed? If someone tells me I look great, does my mood skyrocket?

    If you’re not shaking your heads “yes” to any of the above, ignore me. I have had body image issues my whole life so maybe I’m just an extreme example. But I was hoping that opening up about this would resonate with *someone* out there.

    And that fact is we don’t need to rely on our bodies and our looks for our self worth, and if we catch ourselves doing it, we need to stop and remember the qualities about ourselves that have absolutely nothing to do with our weight or looks. Remember how you worked so hard for something and achieved it? Or when you did a really nice thing for someone because you’re a great person? Just a few examples, but these are things we need to be leaning on when those negative body image thoughts creep into our heads.

    I am actually writing a book as we speak (which some of you may know), and I’m so excited to share some of the experiences/realizations I’ve come to through my novel. Like, so excited. But for now, I’ll share one recent story from a date I went on that put things into perspective for me a bit (and slightly inspired this post to finally be written).

    I went on my first date in New York last week and it was super fun. Without getting into details, I could tell this guy was super into me and I was excited. I was into him too, the chemistry was there, and we just hit it off. Throughout the night he was frequently complimenting my looks. He told me I was “more beautiful in person” and called me “sexy” a few times and let me tell you, I was eating it up. But when the next step (aka setting a new date up) didn’t exactly go as I planned, I backtracked and started to think negatively. I thought, “Did I do something wrong?” And it occurred to me that he didn’t even really know me. Like at all haha. While it was upsetting to not get what I wanted out of it, it made me learn so much (even though it’s one date, I know). I was so excited about the possibilities of this guy, but in reality, he doesn’t even know the real me. I was totally leaning on the fact that he was attracted to me and hanging on to those thoughts, even though as I mentioned earlier in this post, I should be leaning on the other things about me (that he doesn’t even really know yet). I checked myself, and I learned.

    And it inspired this post because, after a quick time spent in the dumps I remembered, I am a catch and this is not going to make me think otherwise. And another thing it made me realize, hence this post, is to stop relying so much on how people think we look or appear. I am so much more than that, and so are you.

    XOXO

  • Social Media’s Negative Effects on Body Image – And What We Can Do About It

    Social Media’s Negative Effects on Body Image – And What We Can Do About It

    Have you ever felt bad about your body after scrolling your social media feeds before? Unfortunately, my hunch is that a lot of us would answer ‘yes’ to this question.

    And a new study from WebMD draws the same conclusion, as the findings show women are less likely to be happy with their bodies if they spend more than an hour a day on social media (um, pretty sure that’s all of us). Another recent survey says 80% of women compare themselves to images in the media – most of these comparisons being negative.

    SIGH. I think we can all agree that we’ve scrolled Instagram or seen some type of social media post that made us compare ourselves or not feel good (cue the picture of some cute girl on a beach in her bikini). And it’s important to be conscious of how social media is affecting your thoughts about yourself, and do as much as possible to avoid or help yourself through those negative feelings.

    In hopes of curbing this social media problem (and these findings that make me really sad), here are a few things I want to make a better effort of doing:

    • Sharing more realness. No makeup, no poses, yeah, the real stuff. I’ve always said I wanted to do more of this, and after getting fired up over these findings – it’s happening. The more we’re all showing our real sides and not just the perfect way we want to be depicted on social media, the more normalized that will become. And even if we’re not posting no makeup pictures, being less focused on being so ‘perfect’ in our photos will help too.
    • Scrolling less. Another thing I’ve wanted to curb is my addiction to scrolling. Though it’s part of my job to stay up to date on the latest trends, and I truly do enjoy seeing content out there from friends, etc., there’s got to be a certain limit – which I have to believe will also limit my exposure to these negative effects of social media, right? Trying to set limits (i.e., no phone before bed, take a break from social media for the day, etc.) could really help.
    • Checking ourselves when we start to compare or envy someone. The more we make ourselves aware of this issue, the better. If I’m scrolling aimlessly and not even realizing that I’m starting to think negatively about myself, how am I going to change that negativity? Scrolling less will certainly help, but being aware and really thinking about it next time could help too. You might have a moment where you’re like, ‘Wow this is dumb, why am I comparing myself to this person?’ and it can help you move on.

    Do you have any others? Is this something you’re going to put into practice in your own life? Tell me your thoughts in the comments or email me at thecurveconfessions@gmail.com!

  • How Loving My Body Allowed Me to Make a Big Lifestyle Change in 2017

    How Loving My Body Allowed Me to Make a Big Lifestyle Change in 2017

    Before you read my story, here’s a quick disclaimer: My body image is something that will live with me forever. It’s not something that goes away with the loss of a few pounds, a guy being attracted to me, or finally feeling like I’m at a healthier weight. That’s part of why I wanted to share my story – because while people have not been shy to tell me I look great – there’s a whole lot more to it than my outward appearance. Every single day I work to have a stronger self-image, stay positive about myself, and keep my head up through everything – it’s an ongoing process that I plan to work on forever. We all have our off days, we all have our moments, but my goal is to keep everyone honest who’s reading my blog – in hopes that one day we can all say we’re no longer critiquing or comparing ourselves, wishing we had bodies we don’t, or talking about getting work done (don’t even get me started on that). Another reason I’m sharing my story is because I want to convey the message that everyone is on their own journey. While I’m all for/constantly preaching about accepting our bodies, I’m also all for doing things for the good of our health. And the reason I did this actually came from the new found love I have for my body, and wanting to treat it better and become a healthier version of myself. By no means did that ever mean talking down to myself, wishing I was skinnier, or hating my body – which is what past weight losses have looked like for me. It was all about realizing that my body wasn’t the happiest, healthiest, and most energized it could have been – and loving it enough to make some serious changes (again, this is ultimately up to YOU if it’s about your body).

    Well, here goes… my honest story that I hope resonates with you, or helps someone in the process.

    It all started with a check-up at the doctor in May of 2017. Well, it didn’t necessarily “start” then, but rather it started with the first doctor who ever told me I needed to lose weight. So, scratch that and backtrack about 15 years when the first doctor told me I needed to lose weight. Since then, there have been very seldom times that I was told I was at a healthy weight (even if I felt it), and this year’s check-up was no different – post college life had me bigger than ever and not even realizing I‎t.

    I’ve been through the trials and tribulations of being told to lose weight – by either a doctor, friend, or family member in some way or another – which typically followed by me getting pissed about it, maybe dieting and losing some weight, and then finding myself back at square one by either gaining the weight back or just having zero success. In all honesty, it has felt like a never-ending, daunting, and terrible process. That is, until now, when I finally realized I love myself and wanted to do this for the good of MY health – not for anything or anyone else.

    My appointment in May 2017 was with a new doctor that I found through a friend. We did a routine check-up, but of course, the elephant in the room was brought to the forefront – my weight. My doctor very kindly expressed her want for me to try to lose weight – giving me a realistic goal of 7-10 pounds in the next 3 months. I left her office that day sad as usual, but ready to make some changes. Unfortunately those changes, and that willpower I thought I had, weren’t there right away. I returned to the office at the beginning of August thinking I was AT LEAST 5 pounds lighter, but nope, I had lost a pound. One freaking pound.

    This was two weeks before my weight check-in with my primary doctor, and also when I decided to confide in my best friend Lauren – I was fed up and ready to really make changes. Tears were shed on my bus ride home, and opening up to her to ask for help wasn’t easy for me – but I knew it was what I had to (and wanted to) do for the good of my health. For the next week or so, Lauren helped me with my grocery shopping, giving me tips for meals and what to buy versus what to skip out on. I learned a TON, and sent her pictures of my grocery carts, or screenshots of menus at restaurants for the next few weeks. She also recommended that I switch from iced lattes to black coffee – man it was hard, but my taste buds adjusted – and I really think it has made a huge difference.

    The next step was committing to a workout that was going to “kick my ass” (as Lauren described it) at least 2-3 times per week. I was working out, but admittedly not hard enough, and not regularly enough. She suggested Shred415, a treadmill and weights interval training class that I was absolutely terrified of. Lauren took me to my first class (I barely made it through) – and shortly after taking it, the studio manager reached out to me offering a new client deal for an unlimited membership. So I did it – I bought the membership. I committed to going to Shred 3 times a week at the studio near my apartment, and then also going to my office gym and taking ClassPass classes the other days (also giving myself rest days). From August 2017 to now, I’ve fallen in love with Shred and continue to go to 3 times a week, and am feeling stronger and better than I have in a longggg time. To think that I’m running/sprinting every single week on a treadmill is crazy if you would have asked me 6 months ago, but here I am! (If you’re interested in trying it – seriously reach out to me!)

    Full force on my new lifestyle (because no, this is not a diet), I went back in two weeks later to have my official appointment with my doctor – and in two weeks I had lost 12 pounds. I think she thought the scale was broken, ha. But I was proud to say that it was all a result of hard work and dedication, and assured her of all the healthy changes I had made that were adding up quickly. My doctor was extremely proud – and we set another goal together and made a follow-up appointment for three months from that date. Continuing my healthy eating and exercise, I was up to about 34 pounds lost by our November check-in about 3 months later, and my blood work showed major signs of improvement in my “bad” cholesterol levels. My doctor was again extremely proud, as was I. I left that appointment absolutely beaming – I felt electric. Fast forward to now, I’ve lost 45 pounds and am slowly working towards another goal for my next appointment (but feeling damn good).

    I’m not going to act like this whole thing has been easy – it hasn’t. It’s taken a lot of determination, willpower, and work in the gym that I truly never thought I could accomplish. It also took a lot to finally admit to myself that I needed to lose a significant amount of weight. But instead of looking at it that way, I decided to look at it in small chunks – like 5-10 pounds at a time over a period of time – so that I don’t get overwhelmed. It makes it a whole lot easier on my mental state – and it makes it that much more exciting when I’m exceeding goals week in and week out. Another thing I’ve practiced consistently is positive self-talk – from the day I decided this whole thing was going down, I told myself “I can – and I will – do this.”

    But I’m not going to lie when I say there are days when I look in the mirror and have moments of hesitations, bloated days, or days when I’m scared I’m going to gain again. It’s normal, and that’s because this is an ongoing process, mentally and physically. It’s an ongoing process to keep a positive mindset about our bodies, and something we all need to continue to practice day in and day out.

    When these negative thoughts do come, I’ve trained myself to shift them to the side and override them with positive, forward-looking thoughts. Sometimes I almost feel like, “is it enough?” or “I want more” – and my greedy side takes over. When that happens, the most important thing I’ve learned to do is live in the moment. I do that by reminding myself how far I’ve come, reminding myself how amazing I feel, and being present in the moment – not thinking about what I could be doing or wishing I was at any other stage than I am in this moment (check out my recent blog about positive self-talk for other tips of this nature).

    While the exterior changes have been amazing, the reality is – it’s not about what’s on the outside. It’s really all about my health and readjusting my lifestyle to focus on the inside – my mind, what I’m putting into my body, pushing my physical and mental limits in the gym – which have all helped to shape a much happier, healthier, and more energized me. And while yes, I may look “better” on the right side of this photo, I am by no means tearing down my same beautiful self on the left, but am grateful I took the plunge.

    Again, thank you to those who have supported me, given me positive words of encouragement, and ultimately helped me along this whole process. I seriously couldn’t have done it (or be doing it) without you all, and am excited to continue to share my journey. Cheers to continued self-love in 2018!

    If you have questions, comments, or just want to have a chat for that matter – I would love to talk to you! Email me at thecurveconfessions@gmail.com or message me on Instagram (@thecurveconfessions).

    To see the best treadmills for you and your workout, check out this article on Reviews.com!

  • The Curve Confessionals: Paige

    The Curve Confessionals: Paige

    About the interview: Paige and I have been friends for a long time, and she’s always had a killer gymnast body. But she’s had her insecurities along the way like us all, and in our conversation we talked a lot about the pressures from guys and other girls, having an athletic build and rocking it, and how she makes herself feel good and confident. I love seeing her growth in self love and can’t wait to watch it continue!

    CC: What’s your body image story?

    P: When I was 12 or 13 – I can remember it even now – I was trying on swimsuits with other petite girls and was self-conscious about my stomach. I’ve got a lot of muscle and have a gymnast body – and being surrounded by those girls of course made me think about it and question myself. Guys also used to ask why I was sticking out my boobs – but it was really just my posture from being a gymnast. I think every girl looks at themselves in the mirror and picks themselves apart at times, but I feel like I’ve grown a lot from my young self. I’m still very athletically built and I really embrace that. I’d rather wear athletic clothes – like yoga pants and a top than jeans and a cute top – I’m just an active person and I’m proud of that.

    CC: If you haven’t always loved your body, how have you worked to get there?

    P: It’s something that’s never completed, especially in your 20’s – which is when you’re discovering yourself and identifying who you are. It’s a work in progress.

    CC: What has been your biggest body image victory?

    P: It was March of my senior year of college, and graduation was coming up. I was looking at graduation dresses. I wanted to look good in my dress and worked hard to get there; and got down to my goal weight. I got the dress and had never felt better about myself. I felt energized, working towards everything felt good, and I miss that.

    CC: Does the media/models/celebrities have an impact on how you see yourself? 

    P: Absolutely. Who doesn’t want to look like Kate Hudson? Now that I’m 25 though, I have a better understanding that it’s not all real (I.e., photoshopped, etc.). It really doesn’t affect me as much as when I was younger.

    CC: What’s one thing you’d say to your younger, middle school aged self?

    P: Trust your instinct, and love yourself.

    CC: What do you do to love your body?

    P: I get ready in my bra and underwear – it makes me feel sexy! I also look in the mirror and say positive things to myself, workout, and take care of myself by washing my face, taking my vitamins, and trying to go to bed early.

    This interview is a part of The Curve Confessionals, a new content series on the Curve Confessions featuring other’s body image stories. Want to be interviewed, or know someone who might? Email thecurveconfessions@gmail.com for more details. 

  • The Downfalls of Social Media – and a Lesson Simone Biles Can Teach Us

    The Downfalls of Social Media – and a Lesson Simone Biles Can Teach Us

    When I was young, bullying mainly happened in person, or maybe over a computer on instant messaging. But today, it can happen a lot more places than that – like on social media. I just came across an article about Simone Biles, 19 year old olympic gymnast, who was recently body shamed on Twitter. Let’s not forget that Simone is NINETEEN. It sickens me that anyone has the audacity to make a comment about her body; but also sadly doesn’t surprise me. Thankfully, Simone was so mature with her response to these trolls, and tweeted:

    simone-b

    You all might have seen my post on Aly Raisman, too, and it’s the same type of thing. People judging people – and I’m sick of it. Aly and Simone’s stories are examples that are open to the public, ones that we all have access to; but think about the kid in the lunch room, or the girl on the high school basketball team that no one hears about. These people are being affected too – just silently.

    Simone is a nineteen year old celebrity who has to deal with this scrutiny in the public eye; which has got to be so hard. She’s so brave to put a tweet out like that, but do you think this won’t affect her? People’s comments about her body may stay with her longer than you think. I hope they don’t, but why do we live in a world where some want to put people down? Why does Simone Biles have to feel remorse over her body, or defend it for that matter, just because someone has a problem with it? Why does anyone have a problem with it in the first place? I have so many questions.

    Social media is a part of our every day lives, and we’re all pretty aware of it at this point. Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram – these are all some of the ways we stay in touch with our friends, the world, and what we’re interested in following. But sometimes it becomes too much, and we have to be reminded of the dangerous effects; like studies linking social media usage to poor body image and self esteem, or people being body shamed like Simone. The young kids really worry me most, because they’re at such an impressionable age, and in my opinion seeing way too much.

    Most of us might not be under this spotlight, and are hopefully not getting these types of comments or push back from our audiences, which is good. Thankfully, we’re also likely not the mean people making these comments. But this is a lesson to take a good hard look at your words and how they affect people. We need to stop judging people, and stop hiding behind computer screens and phones.

    We need to go out into the world and get some joy, some fulfillment, heck, give someone a compliment. We all as humans need to support each other, not tear each other down. Social media can be a positive thing; a connection, a way to keep in touch – but the more we’re using it like this, the more it makes me want to stay far away.

    Something that we’ve all experienced with social media is pressure; pressure over the amount of “likes” or positive feedback you’re getting on posts, or comparing yourself to the fitness models you’re seeing on your feeds. We all want to feel accepted for what we post, and we’re all going to run into things we’re slightly jealous of. And on the comparison front, Steve Furtick says it best, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” So, focusing on social media as a way to feel valued, or as a means of comparison, is not going to get us anywhere.

    In this age of social media, we really need to focus on getting positive reinforcements, having positive moments, etc. out in the world. I don’t know about you all, but getting a genuine hug from someone I haven’t seen in a while, having a drink and a great chat with a friend, giving someone a real time compliment, is SO much more important than getting a bunch of likes on a photo. And like I always say, wishing you were someone else or comparing yourself to others is going to get you nowhere. Being you is enough. We need to remind ourselves of these things in a time where social media seems and feels so important.

    I digress. For real though, Simone Biles’ situation is something we all need to be mindful of. Everything we say to someone (especially publicly) can never be taken back, and can have more negative impact than you may know. And spending too much time on social media, comparing yourself, or measuring your success by the amount of praise (or lack thereof) you’re getting is just not a good way to live.

    So, make an effort in 2017 to stop obsessing over what you’re going to post – how many likes you’re getting – whatever it is (I will be doing it too). Enjoy the company around you, enjoy the little things, and be kind to others.

    And like Simone Biles’ tweet, stay true to yourself. Do YOU – that’s all that matters. Stand up to the bullies, be proud of yourself and your body, and do what you want to do for yourself. Which brings me to one of my favorite quotes: “Be you. Do you. For you.” Don’t do it for anyone else, y’all. ❤