Tag: lifestyle

  • Staying Positive About Ourselves Through the Challenges of Dating & Relationships in a Pandemic

    Staying Positive About Ourselves Through the Challenges of Dating & Relationships in a Pandemic

    I’ve said this to a lot of people over the last year or so — but dating in COVID is hard as hell.

    I’ll explain it simply: We are all navigating this weird time and had our lives turned upside down, and majority of us are even questioning what we want out of life. We all aren’t exactly ourselves mentally and truly just trying to survive and figure it out. We also haven’t been socializing like normal, so not only is there less content to talk about on dates (which has gotten slightly better lately), but it also seems near impossible to keep momentum going. I can’t explain it well enough to people who aren’t in it, but I promise you, if you’re in the same boat — I empathize with you. It sucks sometimes.

    But what I’m here to talk about is how we build ourselves up during what is quite possibly the most mentally taxing period of time for a single person on the dating scene. When a date goes bad, our minds instinctively go inwards — what did I do to drive them away? What didn’t I do? Is it something about me? Well, one of my prerogatives is changing this mentality to “THEIR LOSS” every time, but sometimes emotions get the best of us.

    For example, I went on a date recently where I kind of didn’t care about the outcome. I was feeling myself, didn’t know if I was interested in him, and didn’t care the outcome either way. I was flying high on my emotions at this point of my week.

    But then arrived a different date in the week, where I was excited about the guy I was out with. I truly hadn’t felt a spark or connection like that in a while, which was a GREAT thing in the moment, but has also led me down the dark path of overthinking. Now questioning if I did something wrong, was too much, ya know — the whole gamut. It hasn’t even been a week since the date, but that’s where we’re at — HA.

    But I’ve quickly brought myself down to earth with what I’ve mentioned above. POSITIVE SELF-TALK. 100% of the time in dating it is not about you, it’s about the other person. And to my original point, lord knows what anyone is going through during this hard time. To think anything further than that is a disservice to ourselves and our worth. It’s all about quickly refocusing on what’s important during dating– YOU. What you need, what you deserve, and that is everything of your wildest dreams in my book.

    To those of you in relationships, I equally empathize with you, as I can’t imagine the hardships you’re facing in your own right. No matter what, this time in our lives is taxing and emotional.

    This post is to remind ALL OF US that our self-talk is so important in these times. It’s so important to build ourselves up, continue to learn what we deserve (and DEMAND it), and continue to find our happiness — whatever that looks like.

    XOXO, Kenzie

  • The Curve Confessions Is Back! (And Talking Fashion, Thoughts on the Term Plus-Size, & Brands I’m Loving)

    The Curve Confessions Is Back! (And Talking Fashion, Thoughts on the Term Plus-Size, & Brands I’m Loving)

    Wow, it has been a minute since I’ve posted to the blog! I hope everyone is staying happy and safe during this crazy time (that sometimes seems never-ending). The first topic I’m going to tackle on my big return is… fashion — every facet of it, good and bad.

    I remember the first time I had to shop through sizes bigger than a large. I was in the “normal” women’s section, clearly coming to the realization that I needed bigger clothes. I had just gained some weight and I was in need of sizes XL and above. So, I had to begrudgingly make my way over to the plus size section. I don’t even remember which store I was in, but I remember shuffling through those clothes so quickly, as not to be seen. But, why did I care about the sizes I was picking up? No one looks at the tags I have on, people just see me out in the world. 

    But to me at the time, it was discouraging and embarrassing. But that’s because of the pressure put on us from the media and social media. Because of these mediums, we are made to think that being a bigger size is a bad thing. And that’s because 2% of women shown in the media are plus-size. TWO PERCENT. When in reality, 67% of women wear sizes 16 and above (or, what they call “plus size”). So, we’re seeing people who aren’t really reality. But we are made to think they are.

    Why are these sizes carried in a separate section? Why are they given the egregious term, “plus-size”? Large and extra large have always had a negative connotation in our society. “I look large” is something constantly said by women when they’re not feeling good about themselves. And when people look thin, it’s celebrated beyond belief. 

    Lately I’ve been doing a lot of internal work on myself and my connection to my appearance. I’ve put too much emphasis on my appearance and my weight my entire life (something I blame on  a lot of factors), but I’m trying to dig deeper beyond my appearance, and no longer correlate my worth to my jeans or dress size. But it’s hard in a society that pushes this thin messaging on us, constantly. 

    If you look skinny, you’re praised. If you log into Instagram, you’re plagued with models with flat stomachs in two piece bikinis on some island in Greece. You stop to think for a second, even though you don’t want to, “Why can’t I have that?” “Am I enough?”

    You question everything. You question if you’re good enough, if you’re thin enough, if you have enough. You might even critique yourself in the process and start the negative self-talk at this point, aloud or in your head.

    What I want to do is continue to bring awareness to this through The Curve Confessions. So you and I can continue to check ourselves when we start that negative self-talk. And remind ourselves in those moments that we are enough. We are “hot” enough. We are doing enough. And we have everything we need within us. It’s not material things that make us happy, it’s our inner peace that does. And holy shit, has this year or so helped bring this to the forefront.

    I will cover this more in the blog in-depth, but just let this post be a reminder to you… you are enough just the way you are.

    While on the topic of fashion, I absolutely love fashion. I love expressing myself through my clothes and accessories. I love feeling sexy in what I’m in. So, here are a few brands that have helped me to do so that you can also jump on:

    Armoire – I discovered Armoire through my job, and am so glad that I did. Armoire is a fashion rental brand that allows you to rent, wear, and return clothes — it’s women-founded, size inclusive, and sustainable. Yes, that’s right — size inclusive! You take a quiz and it curates your feed to give you styles and sizes suitable to you. I’m loving it so far. In my last case, I got a Lily Pulitzer dress to wear to a wedding, and my new favorite piece that I wore to a rehearsal dinner (and actually bought myself for my 30th birthday celebration coming up). I have the 7 items per case subscription, but you can get less or more than that! Use my code at armoire.style/refer/kenziep to get 50% off your first month!

    Honeylove – This is a brand that I found through Instagram ads, and they have the best spanx I’ve ever encountered in my life. I love how they make me feel solid in my mid-section, which is a huge part of my confidence when I’m wearing tighter items. I don’t have a code, but man I recommend this brand. Here are the spanx I bought and wear religiously (I’m wearing them under my green bridesmaids dress for my sister’s wedding).

    There will be more where this came from, I promise! Let me know if you enjoyed this post or have any comments. So excited to be writing again! XOXO, Kenzie

  • Keeping My Mind Right Through Weight Loss/Gain, Dating, And Everything In Between

    Keeping My Mind Right Through Weight Loss/Gain, Dating, And Everything In Between

    It’s always driven me nuts that the first thing most people judge you on in this world is your looks and appearance.

    “You look like you’ve lost weight!” Or rather, *stark silence after an up down full body stare is done on your body by a relative and you’re already feeling a little bloated.*

    It’s exhausting, right? To constantly feel like we have to keep up with a certain appearance, impress our families and peers, men, and live up to whatever the expectation is that day- whether it’s in our heads or someone else’s.

    I am someone who has gained, lost, gained back, lost more, etc. my entire life. But how it affects my mood or my thoughts is actually a day to day thing I have to think about and manage. If I’m feeling bloated one day, is my entire day ruined? If someone doesn’t say I look good after giving my body a nice scan, am I annoyed? If someone tells me I look great, does my mood skyrocket?

    If you’re not shaking your heads “yes” to any of the above, ignore me. I have had body image issues my whole life so maybe I’m just an extreme example. But I was hoping that opening up about this would resonate with *someone* out there.

    And that fact is we don’t need to rely on our bodies and our looks for our self worth, and if we catch ourselves doing it, we need to stop and remember the qualities about ourselves that have absolutely nothing to do with our weight or looks. Remember how you worked so hard for something and achieved it? Or when you did a really nice thing for someone because you’re a great person? Just a few examples, but these are things we need to be leaning on when those negative body image thoughts creep into our heads.

    I am actually writing a book as we speak (which some of you may know), and I’m so excited to share some of the experiences/realizations I’ve come to through my novel. Like, so excited. But for now, I’ll share one recent story from a date I went on that put things into perspective for me a bit (and slightly inspired this post to finally be written).

    I went on my first date in New York last week and it was super fun. Without getting into details, I could tell this guy was super into me and I was excited. I was into him too, the chemistry was there, and we just hit it off. Throughout the night he was frequently complimenting my looks. He told me I was “more beautiful in person” and called me “sexy” a few times and let me tell you, I was eating it up. But when the next step (aka setting a new date up) didn’t exactly go as I planned, I backtracked and started to think negatively. I thought, “Did I do something wrong?” And it occurred to me that he didn’t even really know me. Like at all haha. While it was upsetting to not get what I wanted out of it, it made me learn so much (even though it’s one date, I know). I was so excited about the possibilities of this guy, but in reality, he doesn’t even know the real me. I was totally leaning on the fact that he was attracted to me and hanging on to those thoughts, even though as I mentioned earlier in this post, I should be leaning on the other things about me (that he doesn’t even really know yet). I checked myself, and I learned.

    And it inspired this post because, after a quick time spent in the dumps I remembered, I am a catch and this is not going to make me think otherwise. And another thing it made me realize, hence this post, is to stop relying so much on how people think we look or appear. I am so much more than that, and so are you.

    XOXO

  • Nike’s Plus Size Mannequin Makes a Bold Statement, But Why Is It Bold?

    Nike’s Plus Size Mannequin Makes a Bold Statement, But Why Is It Bold?

    If you haven’t seen it flooded in your social media feeds, this week news broke of Nike adding “plus size” mannequins to its flagship London store display.  Mostly, I’ve seen positive reactions on social media, with people commending them for putting these (very common) body types on display.

    I’m happy about it too. But I’m also still upset that it’s something that’s so bold – and at that, it’s also something receiving backlash. A Telegraph article called out the mannequin for being “obese” – which did receive backlash – but is insane to me that someone could say or think that.

    It’s also still kind of crazy to me that this body type is considered some ‘revolution’ by Nike – does the world realize 67% of women in the world are considered “plus size”? Don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing that a huge retailer like Nike is taking the liberty to do this- but I don’t think it should be some bold statement. It should be our world’s reality – because a lot of women relate to the looks of that mannequin.

    Oh, and the term plus size… I was always over it but I am definitely over it. ‘Plus size’ women shouldn’t have to be categorized in a different category than others shopping.

    Do you agree? Hoped you enjoyed this short, sweet, and to the point blog post this week! Xoxo

  • An Open Letter to The Bachelor: Where Are The Curves At?

    An Open Letter to The Bachelor: Where Are The Curves At?

    Dear Bachelor Franchise,

    I am writing because I noticed a huge flaw in your programming – one that is quite frankly an epidemic in today’s media – and that is your failure to include curvy women on your show.

    Question: When casting your seasons for The Bachelor, do you have a requirement that says, “Women must be no bigger than a size 4?” Because I’m going to be honest, I see a little more body diversity when men are competing for the rose, but not so much when it’s women.

    There’s nothing wrong with these women that are featured on the show season after season – I don’t skinny shame – but there’s a whole lot of thick and curvy women that you’re missing out on. And quite frankly that America’s missing out on when you don’t include anyone on the show bigger than a size 4.

    But what’s wrong with this ‘letter’ is I shouldn’t even have to be writing it – it should just be happening. Curvy, thick, plus-size women – whatever you want to call it – shouldn’t have to fight to be the norm or included in a popular show to find love. Thick women ARE the norm. In fact, 67% of women are considered plus-size. Though I dislike the term plus-size, I’m curious as to why this isn’t it depicted in a popular TV show like yours that millennials, impressionable teens, and the like are watching?

    I asked myself the same thing when I was watching the new season with my roommate the other night – where the heck are the curves at? And sadly, it’s the same story every single season.

    As a woman watching who has curves, nowhere near a six-pack, and still is just as deserving of finding love as the next person, it’d be nice to see some more body diversity on your show. So that’s why I’m writing this letter that you’ll probably never read – but you should. Because I speak for a lot of women whose body types aren’t being represented, but very well should be… 67%+ to be exact.

    And not going to lie… I actually think Colton could use some curves. Just saying. 😉

    Sincerely,

    Your Favorite TV Viewer (And Guilty Bachelor Viewer)