Tag: Featured

  • “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best”

    “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best”

    Mistakes… we all make them. We make the wrong judgment call when it comes to an argument with a friend, we make a choice that isn’t the best for our wellbeing, or even worse–we do something that is harmful to ourselves and maybe even potentially life-altering.

    I’ve done all of the above, as have I’m sure many of you who are reading, too. But what I’ve been reminded of recently is that life isn’t a linear progression. You don’t just soar to the top with no bumps in the road, no lessons learned, and no life-changing moments. And if you think you do, then that just isn’t reality.

    I was recently having many great weeks in a row of progress in my life (after some really shitty weeks prior) and “kicking ass” — I felt absolutely unstoppable. I was like, wow, I’ve really turned my stuff around and am killing it! I was riding the high of where I was at at that moment, before quickly realizing it wasn’t going to last forever.

    Then swiftly arrives a mistake I made, letting someone toxic from my past back in momentarily. When it happened, I felt so incredibly low. I was embarrassed. I wanted to crawl in my shell and hide, and I wanted to just shy away from the way it made me feel about myself. I felt like I had failed all of the progress that I had previously been making.

    But then, that reminder came — “life isn’t a linear progression.” And I realized if every single mistake I made was going to drag me down so far, how is that even life? It’s not. Every mistake that I make builds me into the next step, the next thing, the next growing experience. So after carrying some shame around from that situation, I took the lessons it gave me — how bad I felt after it happened, how it tested me and my strength with that person that I needed to work on — and I flipped it into a learning moment.

    And this isn’t the only mistake I’ve made since then, but one example of many that our mistakes do not define us. We all make mistakes. We all have low moments. We all have things to work on. But it’s how we come out of these situations stronger that really defines us.

    It also made me realize it’s all about who is surrounding me and supporting me. I’m focusing on surrounding myself with people who accept me, even in my darkest and lowest times, knowing very well we will get stronger and better together. Those are the people I want around me. And those are the people I will continue to keep around me.

    We are in some hard times right now and I am there for you in whatever this post means to you and whatever mistakes you are making and learning from. I hope you keep your head up and keep learning and growing because that’s just life, my friend, and I am right here with you.

    “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

    XOXO,

    Kenzie

  • How (I’m Trying to) Practice Body Positivity in Quarantine

    How (I’m Trying to) Practice Body Positivity in Quarantine

    Since coming home a few months ago for what I thought would be a few short weeks with my family has quickly turned into staying put for the foreseeable future—with a scary, unknown situation unfolding in every which way around us. I am lucky enough to have a remote job that is not (currently) affected by this, but I know there are many people in less fortunate situations than me, or even working on the front lines of this pandemic. I absolutely feel for and empathize with everyone in the world fighting their own battles right now, and I can’t say that enough.

    I’ve contemplated what to write on my blog—if anything at all—during this time. And while I can’t provide answers to you on the pandemic, jobs, or anything else for that matter, what I think I can provide is a little realness about my own struggles with my body image during this time and how I’m working on being positive—in hopes it resonates with anyone else out there struggling. It’s fricken’ hard.

    We’ve all heard the jokes (or joked ourselves) about the impact this situation is having on our bodies. We are eating differently than normal—and if you’re like me, more frequently—and we are stressed AF in addition. There is no doubt our bodies can—and will—see fluctuations, and it feels hard not to fixate on that at times. Or at least for me it does.

    In my eyes, I can’t control a lot of things in this situation, but I do have control over how I talk to and treat myself. These are some things I’m trying to focus on in each day:

    1. Saying my positive affirmations aloud everyday. The mornings can sometimes be the worst. I wake up and might think, “Welp, here we go again.” So when I wake up, I’m trying to head straight into my bathroom to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself my positive affirmations, whatever those are. “You are smart, beautiful, and strong.” What do you need to tell yourself everyday? Make a list of whatever it is you need and say it out loud. Every day. I know I always preach about this—but right now, I think doing this for ourselves is more important than ever.
    2. Watching out for negative talk about food, and trying to turn it positive (if I can). Food is one of the things that brings us joy in these days, but there’s no question it’s bringing each one of us a different layer of guilt or shame. How many times have you said something negative about how much you’re eating, or how you’re going to “roll out of quarantine?” Yep, I’m guilty too. But we are in a stressful time and I’m really trying to watch out for this negativity. Instead of focusing on what I’m eating, the amount, whatever it is—why not focus on how grateful I am for positive things in my life right now? Like the fact that I’m home with my family, safe, etc. The food I’m eating or even how I’m spending my days doesn’t need to be a source of negativity. We’re all just doing our best, and we’re more than allowed to eat. I’m trying to stop shaming myself for doing so.
    3. Keeping things on my list every single day that make me happy and bring me joy, even on days when I don’t want to do them. Some days are harder than others. Some days I wake up with a more positive attitude and some days I just don’t. It’s a lonely, isolating feeling, and it’s unknown. I’ve learned that there are many things in my days that do make me happy—exercise (even if most of the time I don’t want to do it), calling friends and family to check in (even though there are seldom updates), writing (now’s a good time for me to finish my novel, right?), and other things that may even change as this goes on. Whatever those things are, I’m trying to constantly evaluate and find small ways to make myself happy in every day, which extends to my body both directly and indirectly. This week it might be TikTok-ing and reading, next week it might be painting—who really knows—but I will continue to look for what gives me joy each day and make my best effort to make it happen.
    4. Skipping stepping on the scale and trying on my jeans. It’s tempting, but focusing on our weight and appearances is the last thing we need to be doing right now (in my humble opinion). We are trying to survive, so we have to forgive ourselves if our goals aren’t on the fast track right now and our jeans are a little snug after all this (darn it, I didn’t even bring jeans home!). As tempting as it is to get caught up in our weight and what we “should” be doing with our bodies, to me it’s more helpful to focus on somehow incorporating movement into my day and staying as mentally positive as I can. My weight has nothing to do with that right now, so I’m trying my best not to let it.

    This list is by no means here to tell you I’m doing all of these perfectly—I’m certainly not. But I am trying to work on them every single day, and thought sharing with you all might resonate with someone out there.

    If you have your own strategies for staying positive during this time, please tell me! I’d love to hear from you.

    Stay safe, healthy, and don’t forget to show yourself the love and care you deserve during these crazy times. I know I’m trying, too!

    XOXO, Kenzie

  • 6 Months In A New City: The Good, The Bad, The Isolating, & How I’m Working To Love Myself More

    6 Months In A New City: The Good, The Bad, The Isolating, & How I’m Working To Love Myself More

    It’s insane to think I’ve now been living in New York for 6 months. Absolutely insane.

    In 6 months, I have seen both the greatest, and most difficult days to date. I’ve had days where I feel like I completely belong here and I’m on top of the world. I’ve had days where I didn’t know if I could get up and out of my apartment to face people. I’ve had days where I felt so lonely I wonder why I did what I did, and wondered if anyone even cares about me (crazy, I know). But moving to a new city can be completely isolating. And while exciting, some days I literally feel like I’m on an island.

    But I don’t think this only goes for people moving to a new city, I think it can happen anywhere. I used to be constantly surrounded by family and friends, and sometimes still even felt lonely. What I’ve learned is each day I have a new opportunity to do things that make me happy, make me feel better, and love myself more. So in the process, I’ve worked hard to love the absolute crap out of myself to get through some of the toughest days. Here are a few things I started doing:

    1. I started meditating. I downloaded the Calm app, and truly have been trying to meditate everyday. It’s really helping! My thoughts can get the absolute best of me sometimes, and in the craziness of each day, we don’t always spend time just sitting there with NO thoughts. Meditating sets me up for more calm and peace in my day, which is something I’ve realized I need. Badly.
    2. I’m re-prioritizing things that make me happy. Getting situated, settled, finding work, and all of the above have been a priority since moving. But, what about things that make me happy? I refocused on remembering things that make me happy and making them a huge priority; exercising, yoga, writing, reading, being around people, nights in, going to movies alone, dancing, trying new things – the list goes on! I’m trying to remember that in the daily grind of life, we still have to find time to do the things that make us happy. Simple but true.
    3. I’m practicing daily gratitude and daily affirmations. Right now, my daily affirmation is: You are strong, smart, sassy, & sexy! Sometimes feeling isolated can also have effects on my mental health, and by affirming these words out loud, I’m working on positive self talk and loving myself more. I also write down what I’m grateful for each week in my planner, which has been an amazing addition to my routine to keep myself feeling gratitude in each day.
    4. I’m reading more. This is another thing that eases my anxiety: reading. I’m challenging myself to read a book per month (though I’m hoping it’s more!) Reading expands my mind, calms me, and gives me more room for creativity, which makes me happier in my day to day. Send me your book recommendations!
    5. I’m giving myself grace. I’ve realized in the past 6 months that I put a ton of pressure on myself. I almost feel I’ve put pressure on myself to have some grand experience here, because of telling everyone my plans and dreams of moving to NYC. It makes for anxiety central when I have an off day, or I feel out of place, or whatever the case is. I’m trying to put less pressure on, and give myself grace. Live my life and be happy, but not cost myself my mental health because I want to achieve everything I’m dreaming of.

    Wherever you are, and wherever you’re at in life, just know that you are loved, you are enough, and you are not alone, my friend.

    XOXO, Kenzie

  • Keeping My Mind Right Through Weight Loss/Gain, Dating, And Everything In Between

    Keeping My Mind Right Through Weight Loss/Gain, Dating, And Everything In Between

    It’s always driven me nuts that the first thing most people judge you on in this world is your looks and appearance.

    “You look like you’ve lost weight!” Or rather, *stark silence after an up down full body stare is done on your body by a relative and you’re already feeling a little bloated.*

    It’s exhausting, right? To constantly feel like we have to keep up with a certain appearance, impress our families and peers, men, and live up to whatever the expectation is that day- whether it’s in our heads or someone else’s.

    I am someone who has gained, lost, gained back, lost more, etc. my entire life. But how it affects my mood or my thoughts is actually a day to day thing I have to think about and manage. If I’m feeling bloated one day, is my entire day ruined? If someone doesn’t say I look good after giving my body a nice scan, am I annoyed? If someone tells me I look great, does my mood skyrocket?

    If you’re not shaking your heads “yes” to any of the above, ignore me. I have had body image issues my whole life so maybe I’m just an extreme example. But I was hoping that opening up about this would resonate with *someone* out there.

    And that fact is we don’t need to rely on our bodies and our looks for our self worth, and if we catch ourselves doing it, we need to stop and remember the qualities about ourselves that have absolutely nothing to do with our weight or looks. Remember how you worked so hard for something and achieved it? Or when you did a really nice thing for someone because you’re a great person? Just a few examples, but these are things we need to be leaning on when those negative body image thoughts creep into our heads.

    I am actually writing a book as we speak (which some of you may know), and I’m so excited to share some of the experiences/realizations I’ve come to through my novel. Like, so excited. But for now, I’ll share one recent story from a date I went on that put things into perspective for me a bit (and slightly inspired this post to finally be written).

    I went on my first date in New York last week and it was super fun. Without getting into details, I could tell this guy was super into me and I was excited. I was into him too, the chemistry was there, and we just hit it off. Throughout the night he was frequently complimenting my looks. He told me I was “more beautiful in person” and called me “sexy” a few times and let me tell you, I was eating it up. But when the next step (aka setting a new date up) didn’t exactly go as I planned, I backtracked and started to think negatively. I thought, “Did I do something wrong?” And it occurred to me that he didn’t even really know me. Like at all haha. While it was upsetting to not get what I wanted out of it, it made me learn so much (even though it’s one date, I know). I was so excited about the possibilities of this guy, but in reality, he doesn’t even know the real me. I was totally leaning on the fact that he was attracted to me and hanging on to those thoughts, even though as I mentioned earlier in this post, I should be leaning on the other things about me (that he doesn’t even really know yet). I checked myself, and I learned.

    And it inspired this post because, after a quick time spent in the dumps I remembered, I am a catch and this is not going to make me think otherwise. And another thing it made me realize, hence this post, is to stop relying so much on how people think we look or appear. I am so much more than that, and so are you.

    XOXO

  • Nike’s Plus Size Mannequin Makes a Bold Statement, But Why Is It Bold?

    Nike’s Plus Size Mannequin Makes a Bold Statement, But Why Is It Bold?

    If you haven’t seen it flooded in your social media feeds, this week news broke of Nike adding “plus size” mannequins to its flagship London store display.  Mostly, I’ve seen positive reactions on social media, with people commending them for putting these (very common) body types on display.

    I’m happy about it too. But I’m also still upset that it’s something that’s so bold – and at that, it’s also something receiving backlash. A Telegraph article called out the mannequin for being “obese” – which did receive backlash – but is insane to me that someone could say or think that.

    It’s also still kind of crazy to me that this body type is considered some ‘revolution’ by Nike – does the world realize 67% of women in the world are considered “plus size”? Don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing that a huge retailer like Nike is taking the liberty to do this- but I don’t think it should be some bold statement. It should be our world’s reality – because a lot of women relate to the looks of that mannequin.

    Oh, and the term plus size… I was always over it but I am definitely over it. ‘Plus size’ women shouldn’t have to be categorized in a different category than others shopping.

    Do you agree? Hoped you enjoyed this short, sweet, and to the point blog post this week! Xoxo