Category: Life

  • “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best”

    “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best”

    Mistakes… we all make them. We make the wrong judgment call when it comes to an argument with a friend, we make a choice that isn’t the best for our wellbeing, or even worse–we do something that is harmful to ourselves and maybe even potentially life-altering.

    I’ve done all of the above, as have I’m sure many of you who are reading, too. But what I’ve been reminded of recently is that life isn’t a linear progression. You don’t just soar to the top with no bumps in the road, no lessons learned, and no life-changing moments. And if you think you do, then that just isn’t reality.

    I was recently having many great weeks in a row of progress in my life (after some really shitty weeks prior) and “kicking ass” — I felt absolutely unstoppable. I was like, wow, I’ve really turned my stuff around and am killing it! I was riding the high of where I was at at that moment, before quickly realizing it wasn’t going to last forever.

    Then swiftly arrives a mistake I made, letting someone toxic from my past back in momentarily. When it happened, I felt so incredibly low. I was embarrassed. I wanted to crawl in my shell and hide, and I wanted to just shy away from the way it made me feel about myself. I felt like I had failed all of the progress that I had previously been making.

    But then, that reminder came — “life isn’t a linear progression.” And I realized if every single mistake I made was going to drag me down so far, how is that even life? It’s not. Every mistake that I make builds me into the next step, the next thing, the next growing experience. So after carrying some shame around from that situation, I took the lessons it gave me — how bad I felt after it happened, how it tested me and my strength with that person that I needed to work on — and I flipped it into a learning moment.

    And this isn’t the only mistake I’ve made since then, but one example of many that our mistakes do not define us. We all make mistakes. We all have low moments. We all have things to work on. But it’s how we come out of these situations stronger that really defines us.

    It also made me realize it’s all about who is surrounding me and supporting me. I’m focusing on surrounding myself with people who accept me, even in my darkest and lowest times, knowing very well we will get stronger and better together. Those are the people I want around me. And those are the people I will continue to keep around me.

    We are in some hard times right now and I am there for you in whatever this post means to you and whatever mistakes you are making and learning from. I hope you keep your head up and keep learning and growing because that’s just life, my friend, and I am right here with you.

    “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

    XOXO,

    Kenzie

  • 6 Months In A New City: The Good, The Bad, The Isolating, & How I’m Working To Love Myself More

    6 Months In A New City: The Good, The Bad, The Isolating, & How I’m Working To Love Myself More

    It’s insane to think I’ve now been living in New York for 6 months. Absolutely insane.

    In 6 months, I have seen both the greatest, and most difficult days to date. I’ve had days where I feel like I completely belong here and I’m on top of the world. I’ve had days where I didn’t know if I could get up and out of my apartment to face people. I’ve had days where I felt so lonely I wonder why I did what I did, and wondered if anyone even cares about me (crazy, I know). But moving to a new city can be completely isolating. And while exciting, some days I literally feel like I’m on an island.

    But I don’t think this only goes for people moving to a new city, I think it can happen anywhere. I used to be constantly surrounded by family and friends, and sometimes still even felt lonely. What I’ve learned is each day I have a new opportunity to do things that make me happy, make me feel better, and love myself more. So in the process, I’ve worked hard to love the absolute crap out of myself to get through some of the toughest days. Here are a few things I started doing:

    1. I started meditating. I downloaded the Calm app, and truly have been trying to meditate everyday. It’s really helping! My thoughts can get the absolute best of me sometimes, and in the craziness of each day, we don’t always spend time just sitting there with NO thoughts. Meditating sets me up for more calm and peace in my day, which is something I’ve realized I need. Badly.
    2. I’m re-prioritizing things that make me happy. Getting situated, settled, finding work, and all of the above have been a priority since moving. But, what about things that make me happy? I refocused on remembering things that make me happy and making them a huge priority; exercising, yoga, writing, reading, being around people, nights in, going to movies alone, dancing, trying new things – the list goes on! I’m trying to remember that in the daily grind of life, we still have to find time to do the things that make us happy. Simple but true.
    3. I’m practicing daily gratitude and daily affirmations. Right now, my daily affirmation is: You are strong, smart, sassy, & sexy! Sometimes feeling isolated can also have effects on my mental health, and by affirming these words out loud, I’m working on positive self talk and loving myself more. I also write down what I’m grateful for each week in my planner, which has been an amazing addition to my routine to keep myself feeling gratitude in each day.
    4. I’m reading more. This is another thing that eases my anxiety: reading. I’m challenging myself to read a book per month (though I’m hoping it’s more!) Reading expands my mind, calms me, and gives me more room for creativity, which makes me happier in my day to day. Send me your book recommendations!
    5. I’m giving myself grace. I’ve realized in the past 6 months that I put a ton of pressure on myself. I almost feel I’ve put pressure on myself to have some grand experience here, because of telling everyone my plans and dreams of moving to NYC. It makes for anxiety central when I have an off day, or I feel out of place, or whatever the case is. I’m trying to put less pressure on, and give myself grace. Live my life and be happy, but not cost myself my mental health because I want to achieve everything I’m dreaming of.

    Wherever you are, and wherever you’re at in life, just know that you are loved, you are enough, and you are not alone, my friend.

    XOXO, Kenzie

  • Keeping My Mind Right Through Weight Loss/Gain, Dating, And Everything In Between

    Keeping My Mind Right Through Weight Loss/Gain, Dating, And Everything In Between

    It’s always driven me nuts that the first thing most people judge you on in this world is your looks and appearance.

    “You look like you’ve lost weight!” Or rather, *stark silence after an up down full body stare is done on your body by a relative and you’re already feeling a little bloated.*

    It’s exhausting, right? To constantly feel like we have to keep up with a certain appearance, impress our families and peers, men, and live up to whatever the expectation is that day- whether it’s in our heads or someone else’s.

    I am someone who has gained, lost, gained back, lost more, etc. my entire life. But how it affects my mood or my thoughts is actually a day to day thing I have to think about and manage. If I’m feeling bloated one day, is my entire day ruined? If someone doesn’t say I look good after giving my body a nice scan, am I annoyed? If someone tells me I look great, does my mood skyrocket?

    If you’re not shaking your heads “yes” to any of the above, ignore me. I have had body image issues my whole life so maybe I’m just an extreme example. But I was hoping that opening up about this would resonate with *someone* out there.

    And that fact is we don’t need to rely on our bodies and our looks for our self worth, and if we catch ourselves doing it, we need to stop and remember the qualities about ourselves that have absolutely nothing to do with our weight or looks. Remember how you worked so hard for something and achieved it? Or when you did a really nice thing for someone because you’re a great person? Just a few examples, but these are things we need to be leaning on when those negative body image thoughts creep into our heads.

    I am actually writing a book as we speak (which some of you may know), and I’m so excited to share some of the experiences/realizations I’ve come to through my novel. Like, so excited. But for now, I’ll share one recent story from a date I went on that put things into perspective for me a bit (and slightly inspired this post to finally be written).

    I went on my first date in New York last week and it was super fun. Without getting into details, I could tell this guy was super into me and I was excited. I was into him too, the chemistry was there, and we just hit it off. Throughout the night he was frequently complimenting my looks. He told me I was “more beautiful in person” and called me “sexy” a few times and let me tell you, I was eating it up. But when the next step (aka setting a new date up) didn’t exactly go as I planned, I backtracked and started to think negatively. I thought, “Did I do something wrong?” And it occurred to me that he didn’t even really know me. Like at all haha. While it was upsetting to not get what I wanted out of it, it made me learn so much (even though it’s one date, I know). I was so excited about the possibilities of this guy, but in reality, he doesn’t even know the real me. I was totally leaning on the fact that he was attracted to me and hanging on to those thoughts, even though as I mentioned earlier in this post, I should be leaning on the other things about me (that he doesn’t even really know yet). I checked myself, and I learned.

    And it inspired this post because, after a quick time spent in the dumps I remembered, I am a catch and this is not going to make me think otherwise. And another thing it made me realize, hence this post, is to stop relying so much on how people think we look or appear. I am so much more than that, and so are you.

    XOXO

  • Traveling Solo: What I Learned and Why Everyone Should Do It

    Traveling Solo: What I Learned and Why Everyone Should Do It

    Studying abroad is something I was fortunate enough to get the opportunity to do in college. I studied a semester in Verona, Italy and it was an absolutely life changing experience.

     I definitely got the experience of going out of my comfort zone by being in a different country, speaking a different language, and meeting new people. However, looking back I realize I definitely stayed well within my comfort zone while abroad, because I was always in a group with others I somewhat knew.

    But while I was over there, I met someone who was traveling alone and was in absolute awe of her. I thought to myself, “I could never do that,” but deep down felt an urge to get to the point where I could. So I kept it in the back of my mind, and set the goal last year that I would conquer my fears of traveling alone. So I set out what I had to do to get there – which included saving money and planning for time off from work (and trip logistics, of course). And last fall, I conquered my fear and traveled solo to Europe (Italy, Switzerland, France, and the U.K.).

    So, I thought I’d write a post about my own personal experience, what I got out of it, and why I think everyone should experience something similar if they can. 

    Why I did it: I did it to challenge myself and prove to myself that I could. I also did it to get some time to myself and really dig deep into my life, my goals, and exploring other places completely on my own. Conquering that fear felt like a hurdle and learning experience I was yearning for.

    What I got out of it: A lot. I learned a lot about myself (because you have NO idea what it’s like being alone until you’re literally alone in your thoughts in another country), met a ton of people, got way out of my comfort zone, and ultimately conquered my fears – which alone made it all worth it. Side note: For part of my trip I did a “group tour,” which was basically a bunch of single people from different countries coming together to explore different cities. That was also an incredible part of my experience because I got to meet new people and put myself out there, which was another highlight of my journey. 

    Why everyone should do it: All of the reasons above. I honestly would do it again but go to other countries if I can, because everyone should travel and explore new places and cultures. If you’re itching to travel, do it. Make a plan for how you’re going to get there and go after it. You won’t regret it!

    All in all, traveling alone was a huge confidence booster and personal growth experience. I came home and was like, “wow, I’m not afraid of anything anymore!” Of course, I’m human and have fears still just like everyone, but this experience truly helped me in so many ways personally that I am so grateful for. And I hope others feel inspired to take the plunge.

    Now who’s booking their solo trip? 😉

  • The Recent Step I Took To Get Out Of My Comfort Zone And Chase My Happiness And Dreams

    The Recent Step I Took To Get Out Of My Comfort Zone And Chase My Happiness And Dreams

    The past few weeks have been unconventional (and exciting) to say the least, because I kind of did a thing – I quit my job that I’ve been at for the past four years.

    Let’s start from the beginning of my career. I’ve been working since I graduated college, which was almost five years ago. I landed at a large PR agency that at the time was my ‘dream job’ and dove right in to agency life.

    I started my internship there and learned a lot, stayed for 8 months; then got offered a position as an intern at another agency. And four years later, here I am. I’ve been promoted a few times and am now a Senior Account Executive. I have so much great experience under my belt and have met so many great people along the way, and I won’t ever take that for granted. But two weeks ago, I quit.

    Here’s why:

    1. My favorite motto of all time is that life is too short to be anything but happy – but that’s because it really is. And that quote makes me realize that if god forbid something were to happen, I wouldn’t want to spend another minute unhappy in my day to day. There are a lot of things that go into my decision and I’m not going to go into detail, but in the self reflection I’ve worked on, I realized my job was no longer serving me and it was my time to move on and take a mental break from it all. So I made the serious decision that working part time and freelance gigs, making my own schedule, and de-stressing for a little while I look for opportunities was an immediate way I could get there. So I took the plunge.
    2. I’m looking for day to day work that ignites my soul and brings out my passion. And my next job will be exactly that – a brand that I’m amped to get behind and work for, an opportunity that allows me to write and extend my writing skills, and allows me to work towards my goals of being a writer and author. Or maybe even a completely different path that allows me to focus on my writing on the side – it’s still unknown. And it may have been an uncomfortable decision to leave what’s been known to me for so long, but it’s ultimately going to get me closer to my long-term goals and help me grow. And this decision also means I’ll be dedicating more time to those things that do ignite my passions – like writing for my blog, working on my book, and looking for freelance writing/content gigs.

    Honestly, what held me back from doing this for a long time was my fear. What will people think of me? Will I ever get another corporate job? What if I fail? These are just a few of the fears running through my head.

    But I was finally ready to face my fears and take a chance. I know it’s not the most conventional decision – quitting a job with a steady paycheck for something unknown – but in this moment, I know it’s what I want and need. And remember the whole life is too short thing? At least I can be happy that I stuck to my gut and am following my happiness and dreams.

    I will get another corporate job soon, I’m sure. But after this break I’m taking, I want to make sure it’s bringing me closer to my goals and serving me happiness. Because if it’s not – what’s the point?

    I’ll leave this last quote that I don’t think I’ll ever get out of my head – “how you spend your days is how you spend your life.” And with that I say, follow your dreams and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise (not even the voices in your head).

    And if you’re interested, here are some steps I took that might help:

    1. Write down your 5 and 10-year plans and what it will take to get there
    2. Make a list of everything in your life and evaluate if/how it’s getting you there
    3. If you’re finding things not serving you and your happiness/dreams, cut ties with those things
    4. Make a decision about what you’re going to do to change and do it; then move on
    5. Make a plan and next steps for how you are going to hit your dreams and goals – then go for it!

    Special shout out to my Mom, Dad, family and friends, who always lift me up and show me nothing but support through everything. I couldn’t do it without you all! XOXO.